Your Speech Is Written. Now Don't Blow the Delivery.

You did it. The speech is written. Jokes are locked in, the emotional moment hits right, and you even managed to keep it under four minutes. Nice work.

Now comes the part nobody talks about: actually saying those words out loud, into a microphone, in front of 150 people who are all staring at you while holding champagne.

Here's the uncomfortable truth we've learned from being behind 10K+ best man speeches: great content with bad delivery is still a bad speech. You can have the funniest jokes, the most heartfelt stories, the perfect structure. But if you mumble through it, race to the finish line, or stare at your phone the entire time — none of it matters.

Good news? Delivery isn't some magical talent you're born with. It's a skill, and it's way more learnable than you think. You don't need to become a TED speaker by Saturday. You just need a game plan.

Why “Just Be Yourself” Is Terrible Advice

If you've told anyone you're nervous about giving the speech, you've probably gotten some version of "just be yourself" or "just relax." Both are useless.

"Just be yourself" assumes that your nervous, adrenaline-flooded, slightly sweaty self is the version of you that should show up to the mic. It's not. When nerves hit, your default self talks too fast, avoids eye contact, and fidgets with anything within reach. That's not you — that's your fight-or-flight response wearing a suit.

What you actually need is a game plan. A short list of concrete things to do and not do when you're up there. Not a personality transplant. Just a framework.

After seeing what works (and what absolutely doesn't) across thousands of speeches, we've boiled delivery down to five things. That's it. Nail these five and you'll look like you've done this before.

The 5-Point Delivery Checklist

This is the same checklist we give every best man who comes through our program. Print it, screenshot it, tattoo it on your forearm. Whatever it takes.

1. Pace: Slower Than You Think. Way Slower.

   Number one delivery mistake we see, and it's not even close. When you're nervous, adrenaline floods your system. Heart rate spikes, brain speeds up, and suddenly you're reading your speech like an auctioneer at a livestock auction. What feels like a normal pace to you sounds like a fire drill to the audience.

   The fix is simple but counterintuitive: speak at a pace that feels uncomfortably slow to you. If it feels like you're dragging, you're probably right where you need to be. A three-minute speech should take closer to four when delivered properly. Pauses aren't dead air — they're where the audience processes what you just said. Give them that space.

2. Eye Contact: The 3-Person Trick

   Staring at a piece of paper for four straight minutes is the fastest way to lose the room. But scanning 150 faces while trying to remember your next line isn't realistic either.

   Here's what works: before the speech, pick three people in different parts of the room. One left, one center, one right. When you're speaking, rotate between them every few sentences. To everyone else, it looks like you're making eye contact with the whole crowd. And yes — one of those three should be the groom. Look at him during the emotional stuff.

3. Pauses: Let the Moment Land

   New speakers are terrified of silence. They land a punchline and immediately rush into the next sentence because silence feels like failure. It's not. Silence is your best tool.

   After a joke — pause. Let the laugh happen. Let it build. If you step on the laugh by talking over it, you've killed the energy in the room. After an emotional moment — pause. Let people feel it. Let the bride wipe her eyes. Let the groom's dad nod. Two to three seconds after a punchline. A full breath after the emotional beat. That's all it takes. Those pauses are what separate a speech people clap for from a speech people remember.

4. Hands: Give Them a Job

   Nervous hands are distracting. We've seen guys death-grip their notes until the paper shakes. Pocket-fidgeters, belt-loop grabbers, the classic "I don't know what to do with my arms" stance. All of it.

   Simple fix: hold the mic in one hand and a drink in the other. If there's a podium mic, hold your notes in one hand and keep the other hand free to gesture naturally. Key rule: don't clutch your notes with both hands. It makes you look like you're reading a ransom demand. One hand holding something, the other free. That's it. You'll look relaxed even if you're not.

5. The Close: Clean and Confident

   So many speeches die in the last ten seconds. The speaker finishes their last line and then just kind of... trails off. "So, um, yeah. To Dave and Sarah, I guess." That's not a toast. That's a fizzle.

   Here's the formula: finish your last line, pause, look up from your notes, raise your glass, say the couple's names clearly, and drink. No "um," no "anyway," no "I think that's it." Just the names, the glass, the sip. Practice this exact sequence. The last impression is what they'll remember — make it crisp.

The Practice Method (Simpler Than You Think)

We're not going to tell you to practice in front of a mirror fifty times. That's overkill and you won't do it anyway. Here's what actually works:

Read it out loud three times. That's it. But there are rules.

Round one: Read the whole thing out loud, start to finish, standing up. Don't stop to fix things. Just get through it and notice where you stumble. The places you trip over words are the places you need to simplify the language. If a sentence is hard to say out loud, rewrite it until it's easy.

Round two: Read it again, but this time focus on the checklist. Slow your pace down deliberately. Pause after the jokes. Look up from the page at least once per paragraph. Practice raising the glass at the end.

Round three: Dress rehearsal. Stand up, hold your phone or notes like you would at the wedding, and deliver the whole thing as if people are watching. Time it. If it's under three minutes, you're going too fast.

Three read-throughs won't make you perfect. But they'll make you prepared. And prepared beats perfect every single time.

What to Do When Nerves Hit

Let's be real: you're going to be nervous. Every single person who has ever given a best man speech was nervous. The guys who looked calm up there? Nervous. The guy who seemed like a natural? Nervous. Your buddy who "loves public speaking"? Also nervous.

The goal isn't to eliminate nerves. It's to have a plan for when they show up. We call it the 30-second reset.

Step one: Breathe. Before you start talking, take one slow breath in through your nose for four counts, out through your mouth for four counts. One breath. That's it. This isn't meditation — it's a physiological trick that slows your heart rate. Do it while the DJ introduces you, while you're walking to the mic, while you're pretending to adjust the microphone.

Step two: Scan the room. Before your first word, look around. Find your three eye-contact people. Find the groom. Let your brain register that this is just a room full of people eating cake and having a good time. It's not a courtroom. Nobody's here to judge you.

Step three: Remember they're rooting for you. This is the part people forget. Everyone in that room wants you to do well. The groom wants you to crush it. The bride's family is pulling for you. Your friends are ready to laugh at your jokes. You're not performing for critics — you're talking to people who love the same couple you do. That changes everything.

You've Got This

Giving a best man speech isn't easy. But it's also not as hard as your anxiety is making it seem right now. You've got the words. You've got the checklist. You've got a practice plan and a reset for when the nerves hit.

That puts you ahead of about 90% of best men out there who are planning to just "wing it" and hope for the best. You're not winging it. You've got a game plan.

Now go give the speech they'll be talking about at the next wedding.